Testimony
Big Daddy Weave – “My Story”
CHAPTER 1
We are all stories in the eyes of Jesus; one big love story.
The Bible, which is God breathed, is a conglomeration of stories intertwining with each other, but consistently leading to one person, Jesus Christ - from beginning to end.  And that’s what we all are; a bunch of stories, a bunch of miracles intertwining with each other, leading to and testifying of the One who is the Healer. 
MY TESTIMONY - SING FOR JOY
And the glory of children is their fathers.
Proverbs 17:6b 
At the cross we are all the same, sinners in need of a merciful God.
My Dad suffered from a life of poor choices, a battle with alcohol and himself. He was an ordained minister who had difficulty holding down a long-term job. He left our family of six kids to marry his mistress and moved from Idaho back to his beloved California. I was eight years old.  My twin brother, the only son, was heartbroken to have been abandoned by his Father.  Nights were spent hearing him cry himself to sleep.  We all needed our Dad who could not be there; he was battling his own demons. Eventually my heart grew cold and disconnected to emotions.  
If you can't trust your parents, you can't trust anyone. 
My Mother, a social worker, being severely wounded by 20 years of marital chaos, poured herself into her work to provide for her family and keep them out of threatening poverty.  She was a loving, kind, gentle, God-fearing woman, who loved the Word of God and never talked bad about my Dad. She held our family together. Unfortunately, due to unfortunate circumstances, her children were left on their own emotionally and sometimes physically with only broken siblings to parent. 
Families would leave grocery bags of food on our doorstep, but my mom never turned away a hungry college student or a family in need with what little we had.
DARK DAYS BEGIN
Soon after, I befriended a neighbor girl.  Summers of sleepovers and swimming.  Occasionally, we would eat frozen Hostess Ding Dongs while peering over Playboy magazines stacked a mile high in their storage room. As a 5th grader, she was allowed to watch the Exorcist and our curiosity in witchcraft began. This led to hiding in pitch-black bathrooms looking for spirits in the mirror and talking about performing a séance. These "silly innocent" games, turned the doorknob, cracked the door open and let the devil enter.  Something shifted in me.  I began to rebel.
The Bible says that rebellion is like the sin of divination. 
1 Samuel 15:23 
God is warning, rebellion comes from the spirit of witchcraft.
I began to form lies and exaggerations, fight with my brother, grew slack in my schoolwork, dropped out of extracurricular activities, formed a school gang of disruptive girls, started messing around with boys and dropped out of school activities. A love for scary, ghostly things developed such as Halloween and pleasant feelings of drawing witches and ghosts.
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Proverbs 29:15 
One who is slack in his work is a brother to one who destroys (Satan).
Proverbs 18:9
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The worst of the 'crimes' was stealing money from my mom's purse. The poor, hardworking
Mother, who could barely provide for her family, yes, I was stealing from that woman.  A little here, a little there when no one was looking.  "Hey, I need the money," even though she was giving me an occasional $10 a month for housecleaning, which I did poorly, because my lazy butt was parked in front of the TV after school until my Mom got home.
A delicious, homemade candy store not too far from our house was to blame for cultivating the need for thievery. My brother and I would frequently sneak to the store, salivating in anticipation. However, he had a paper route generating his own hard-earned money. I, however, used the money stolen from my Mother.
Such are the paths of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the life of those who get it.
Proverbs 1:19
I can still remember the captivating smells of the homemade candy wafting through that store as I opened the door. Fifty cents went a long way! We lived in a house where junk food barely existed.  I think the closest we had to sugar was honey and a box of Jello.  What kid wants honey!
Whoever robs their father or mother and says, "It's not wrong," is a partner to one who destroys.
Proverbs 28:24
So, after being sent to the principal’s office twice for “gang” related activities, such as throwing food over occupied bathroom stalls and a free-for-all paint fight in the classroom, the principal forced the breakup of the group and my Mom was fed up with my behavior.  She prayed for a miracle. She wanted to send my brother and I to the local Christian school, where good kids get a Christian education and bad kids are supposed to get reformed. Very interesting dynamic.  Does the clean water purify the bad or does the bad water contaminate the clean?
My Mom’s brother paid our way to the Christian school and those precious teachers saved me from walking down a very crooked path.  My path was already crooked, but it would have been a lot worse. Through the years, I looked and acted like a good Christian and fooled myself. I had a close relationship with Jesus, but deep in my heart not much had changed.  Sin laid dormant ready to be awakened by the right opportunity to present itself.
Sin is crouching at your door, it desires to have you, but you must master it.
Genesis 4:7
The sin now went deeper into hiding, in the secret places...stealing more often from my Mom, going further with boys, subtle lies, selfish ambition and watching things I shouldn’t.
The cup looked clean on the outside, but inside...undrinkable! Boy howdy! In college, I was not going to drink alcohol or have sex.  I was going to stay "pure." Oh, good grief! What a mess.
All of a man's ways seem right to him, but in the end they lead to death.
Proverbs 14:12
I bought my first Bible. Read it, loved it, but no change of heart.  There was no repentance.  It NEVER crossed my mind. I remember asking my Mom a few times, "What does fear of the LORD mean?"  She would say, “Honor, respect.” That answer wasn't enough for me.  I felt it was bigger and deeper than that, but either way, I didn't get it.
My brother and I were driven and independent to stuff the emotional pain of abandonment and family chaos.  We saw Dad once or twice a year. We both learned early on that success was more important than people.  Relationships hurt, but achievement brings self-fulfillment. My senior year in high school confirmed the belief that people are not to be trusted.  Students backstabbed, gossiped, formed lies and rumors to defame my character.  The wounds were painful. Little did I realize that long before this, I had already defamed my character before Christ. 
Sitting at the kitchen table during my senior year, I told my Mom, "I'm not going to college." She abruptly said, "Oh, yes you are!  Your uncle is paying for it and you're going."  
If someone would have told me at that moment that the next 10 years of my life would be spent in college, I would have told my Mom, "Oh no, I'm not!"  See, B student stands for bored and barely cracks open a book. I am thankful we don't know the future, because if we did we'd more likely run.
So, I went to the University of Idaho majoring in Clothing Textiles and Design. I love clothes…hey, why not major in clothes!!  Seemed logical to me!   Before embarking on my college journey, I prayed a short prayer. Little did I realize, only seasoned Christians pray this kind of prayer, because they understand from experience, that it typically brings a 2 by 4 to the head!!
I prayed…"Test me Lord. I want to know if my faith is my own or just my parents.”
And that's exactly what I got...a 2 by 4.
Test me, LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind.
Psalm 26:2 
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CHAPTER 2
APOSTASY
Purity comes from repentance, not from good intentions.
University of Idaho 1982...the number one party school in the nation!
"I'm going to remain a virgin, abstain from drinking and stick with my Christian values."
Well, good for you Beth, let's just see how it goes for you.
A Christian organization on campus became my church family.  Because of my higher profile on campus as a cheerleader and a Christian, they asked if I would lead a Bible study and become mentored.  They wanted student leaders to reach other students for Christ.   Leading Bible studies uncovered a clear understanding in my heart - the Word of God and Christianity bored me.
I met a fellow my freshman year and we both began dating. Even though He was respectful of my morals, I began to drink and question my values. I asked my parents and relatives, "Why can't I have sex before marriage?"  No one could give me a good answer.  It was, "Well, God said no."  Ok, well that doesn't cut it when temptation is staring you in the face."   The well-meaning Christian leaders were urging me to break up with him as he was not a Christian and it looked bad since I was in a leadership position. I broke up with him and it broke my heart.  Through this pain, I began to seriously question my faith and became ticked at God.   Drinking increased, I quit the Christian campus organization and lost my virginity. From then on what was one more guy since I was no longer a virgin.  It didn't matter anymore...but guilt was a constant friend. Desire for the dark side increased. My grades suffered and one day my dietetics professor said, “Your grades are not good enough to get you into the dietetics internship unless you get your grades up in a couple of classes."
AFTER cheering for U of I and teaching for the National Cheerleaders Association in the summers,
 I began to have severe whiplash headaches from routines and partner stunts.  My Mom suggested the local chiropractor.  During a treatment he said, "Hey with your athletic background and major, you should consider becoming a chiropractor." 
"Mmm, would that require more schooling?"
“Yes!”
“Um, no thanks."
Little did I know, this doctor would change my life with just one small suggestion.
SOLD MY BIRTHRIGHT
On one life-changing day, I received a poor test score, which was the nail in the coffin – no dietetics internship. Filled with anger, I literally shook my fist at God and said, "I am going to turn my back on you and do things my way. I worked hard, but you failed me.  I asked for help, but you were silent. You made me break up with the one I loved, and my heart is broken.”  
He let me do things "my way" for 12 self-destructive years.
A person’s own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the LORD.
Proverb 19:3
How do we walk away from Christ? One unrepented sin at a time; slowly veering off the path until one day we find ourselves in a ditch.
Running had become a great passion in college, but after rejecting God, the gift was gone.
Interesting to note, that time away from God, our passions become lifeless, but with God they become full of life.
From that day on, I began to look into chiropractic school more seriously, since my future in dietetics was now closed.  Not once did I ever think that maybe dietetics was a wrong career path. Immediately, the chiropractic doors flew wide open. My grades improved and now attending the Los Angeles College of Chiropractic was in sight.
The question that I asked God before starting college, was now answered.
My faith was surely not my parent’s faith. I received a 2 by 4 to the head and I failed the test.
He let me go my own way for 12 years.
We all like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way.
Isaiah 53:6a
After turning my back on God, for some odd reason, I knew in my warped heart that God had called me to chiropractic school where I excelled and thrived.
This was a miracle! Even though a good student, I hated school academically - loved it socially. I told my Mom at the end of high school, “I'm not going to college." She said, "Oh yes, you are, your uncle is paying for it and you’re going."
I would not be where I am today if it hadn't been for my precious uncle.
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CHAPTER 3
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Attended Los Angeles College of Chiropractic in Whittier, California, 1987.  It was a 5-year academic program reduced down to 3 1/2 years - no breaks. It was a demanding program, ranked second in the nation and modeled after Harvard's Medical School.  It was a perfect school with a perfect location, plus my Dad lived just 30 minutes away. It was a blessing to finally live close to him and restore a distant relationship.
I rented a quaint house with a roommate in the hills of La Habra, surrounded by avocado orchards and a view which stretched clear to the ocean.  You could see Catalina Island on a good day and the Disneyland fireworks each night.  It was a glorious place to live.   I would ride my bike to the beach, run the hills and study. Chiropractic college brought many achievements, good grades and success.  I didn't need God, but I was searching for something…
While living in LA, I was introduced to the world of New Age. 
An Ouija board had been left in my house from a previous roommate and so I played it with a friend one night.  Each person gently places their hands on the little table in the center of the board.  It begins to levitate and move to letters. It spelled out the words, DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME.  Noticeably shaken, we immediately stopped playing and I threw the game out with the trash. Deep in my heart, I knew God’s hand had just reached through the darkness.
In spite of this, I went to psychics searching for my future, studied reincarnation, kundalini energy and attended channeling classes and found my own spirit guide. I started channeling this entity and began giving messages to people from the spirit. My eyes were blinded, for a spirit guide disguises itself as a spirit of light, when in truth, it’s actually a demon. 
I frequently visited New Age stores located throughout California.  In these stores, one side contains witchcraft books, trinkets, videos, and paraphernalia and on the other side of the store there is New Age books and paraphernalia on healing, channeling, spirit guides, psychics, tarot cards, self-awareness, Indian medicine, and oneness with the universe.
I always said to myself upon entering the building, I am not going on that witchcraft side of the store, so therefore, I am not involved in witchcraft.  I am only staying on the New Age side.
Deceived, I never put the two together that they were one under the same roof…under the same umbrella of sorcery, witchcraft and divination. They were just called different names.
I believe this is a huge reason why California is in the condition it is in today.  From the oceans to its big mountains, bathed in witchcraft under the name of New Age.  It must be spiritually cast out by declaring the Word of God and Jesus’ Blood over the land in order for that state to recover.
For more guidance on this subject, go to Healing of the Nations, The Land.
STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES
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I find more bitter than death, the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains.
Ecclesiastes 7:26
Drinking became more excessive and my list grew of the men that I slept with; even a married man and a seminary student were not off limits.  Pornography was a problem and seductive clothing was now part of the wardrobe.  One day standing in my yard looking out over the valley, I had a conversation with myself, "What if you get pregnant, Beth?  Well, if ever I did, I would just have an abortion, because there is no way I am going back home pregnant - that would be too shameful. So that’s what I’ll do, it will solve everything.”
You see, when witchcraft enters, so does rebellion, and that spirit knows no boundaries.  It is hell-bent on destroying ourselves and others.
Thankfully, I did not get pregnant or catch an STD, nor was raped or abused.  Never did I
consume street drugs or get arrested for the countless times I drove drunk.  My Mother must have been praying overtime! For I should have been drugged, raped, robbed, pregnant, infected,
murdered, arrested, ticketed or thrown in jail or in a ditch.  Nothing bad happened, which was all the more reason I didn't need God. Plus, there was success everywhere I turned, from grades, friends, parties, accomplishments, student leadership, favor with the school administration, and chiropractic leaders in the state of California.  I was on top of the world.
Did I mention I had success in area of stupidity?
Just because one is successful does not mean one is wise.
The Word of God says, we are more of a fool if we know the truth, but walk away from the truth, as opposed to those who never knew it.
The woman Folly is loud; she is undisciplined and without knowledge.
Proverbs 9:13
MORE TO COME…
I feared, "One of these days, God is going to punish me for turning my back on Him." There is no way, you can give Him the middle finger, walk away, and go untouched. 
But God was silent for so many years, I became deceived in believing He must not care about my rebellion and apostasy, because He's not saying or doing anything. Life was going great!
Little did I know He was patiently waiting for me to repent.
I never would have imagined what was to come.